From the President’s Desk: I’d love to start with the man in the mirror … If I could see him
Looking in the mirror is a responsibility every CEO carries – and, more broadly, a hallmark of any good leader. It’s where self-reflection begins: taking time to assess our own strengths and shortcomings, and starting with ourselves before expecting more from others. While all that’s true, looking in the mirror often makes me uncomfortable. And unlike the Michael Jackson song, there’s no metaphor in this instance – I’m talking about the mirror itself.
When I get ready in the morning, my goal is to spend between five and seven minutes in the shower. After college, I even switched from bottled body wash to bar soap – it’s more efficient because I never have to put it down. But lately, I’ve found myself spending three or four “warm-up” minutes planning for the day ahead and brainstorming creative resolutions to issues I might face. I’ve heard of people having their best ideas in the shower, but this is something I’m not proud of. My goal remains the same: get in, get clean, and get out!
No matter how quick the shower or which city I’m in that morning, I’ve found one thing to be true: the mirror ends up foggy. I was blessed with a forehead of significant acreage (in other words, not much hair to work with), so I try to peer through the mist, run my fingers over my head a few times, and consider myself ready to take on the day. And almost half of the time, I forget to bother looking in the mirror.
In the latter part of my routine – the final 15 minutes or so – I’m rarely near a mirror at all. I’ll be honest: I genuinely despise anything to do with teeth or brushing. Because of that, I can barely bear to look at my reflection during that part of the routine. Anyone who’s seen me knows I rarely check my clothes in a mirror; the inevitable wrinkles are usually excused by the fact that I’m traveling! During the day, I always choose to think about the next interesting idea rather than stopping to look at myself. We all tend to forget different things when we are busy, and for me, it’s looking in the mirror.
When I was running airport construction projects, especially those that ran around the clock, it wasn’t unusual to go four days without seeing my own face. I invite you to reflect (pun intended) on that for a moment: what would it be like to go a full day without looking at yourself? Would it feel strange? Or would you find something unexpected in that absence?
For me, there were two sides to that experience. On one hand, in those moments where I couldn’t see myself, there was a feeling of complete liberation. Without a reflection to check, I wasn’t thinking about how I might be perceived; I was entirely focused on the work in front of me. On the other hand, that focus sometimes came at a cost; it has resulted in more than one photo of me with a stain on my shirt!
In leadership, much like in appearance, the starting point is ourselves. If your team isn’t performing or if your organization is not making headway, the first place to look is inward. Yet, it can feel daunting to take that honest look in the mirror when our own reflection feels blurry or obscured.
So how do we gain clarity when the mirror isn’t enough?
First: ask for feedback. Just as I rely on my wife to tell me when I’ve got chicken caught in my eyebrows (yes, chicken), we rely on others to give us honest insight into who we are and how we show up. Feedback can feel scary or uncomfortable, especially if it’s constructive and necessary. But, in a healthy organization with feedback structured the right way, even corrective feedback* is meant to help everyone grow and become a better version of themselves.
Second: find coaching. I still don’t stand in front of the mirror any more than I used to, but I dress better today because my wife is actively – and very politely! – coaching me to leave my worn-out tropical board shorts in the drawer. A coach or mentor brings a certain perspective into your life that you simply can’t access on your own.
Third: shorten your shower. As leaders, we want to spend our time tackling ethereal problems that sound important, and we’re often worrying about how we come across. This can lead to self-aggrandizement. Leadership is not perfected behind the curtain – it’s proven in the work you get done. Time spent obsessing over every detail can be better spent casting a vision your team can get behind, outlining strategies they can use to face down (or live up to) challenges, and communicating that strategy to move your organization forward. Those extra ten minutes spent behind the curtain might be tempting and feel important to your day, but they could be the ten minutes that generate real traction instead!
In the end, the mirror isn’t the point – it’s simply the reminder. Fogged up, totally avoided, or glanced at briefly, the mirror represents those moments when we pause long enough to ask how we’re really showing up. The pitfall isn’t spending too little time in reflection; it’s spending time there without purpose.
So no, I’m not suggesting that leaders spend more time staring at themselves – literally or figuratively. Reflection doesn’t need to be lengthy to be effective, but it does need to be intentional. Take the time to look when it matters: seek honest feedback, invite coaching, and use clarity of purpose to make those moments count. Then, when the reflection has done its work, step forward and lead – because leadership isn’t shaped by how long we study ourselves, but by how well we act once we step away from the mirror.
*P.S. If you’re interested in learning how to offer feedback that is corrective without being critical, I’d recommend a few resources from leadership coach John Barrett. His podcast episode on holding teams accountable, along with his writing on giving feedback to sensitive people, offers practical guidance on delivering honest feedback in a way that builds trust rather than defensiveness.
